Foreskin's Lament

A high school English teacher once reprimanded me for my excessive use of irony. I wonder what she would have made of this ...

Ode to my Foreskin

Oh, foreskin, oh

Oh, foreskin

Oh, socially circum –

scribed foreskin

Oh, you’re not there

where

I like to rub

Oh, if I should forget thee

oh, foreskin

let my right hand

lose its cunning

But don’t think it’s cause I’m a prig

I’ll still have

my left left

with which to frig

Oh, foreskin, oh

I am like a polo neck sweater

without a polo

neck, so

merely a sweater

The kind a beatnick would not dare

to wear

Oh, despair!

Oh, foreskin, oh

Though I rub and rub

my poor old nub

remains a stub

Oh, there’s the rub

Oh, there’s the rub